Seeing the Difference

I told one of my friends before that i must send my kids to Chinese school for better discipline. But now i am rethinking my this decision.

I am from Chinese school, and all the while i have been thinking Chinese school is the best in controlling discipline. This is true in fact, until now i never deny it. What alters my thought is - is being discipline that good?

You know i have been doing excellently in my discipline, handing in assignments in time, being punctual to class (most of the time la xD), finishing all the homework, etc etc etc. But being a very disciplined student, i don't feel myself is happy (errr i mean not really happy being a good student, you get me?). What's the point being a well-known so called "GOOD" student with all the good comments from lecturers but not really happy about this achievement and didn't really know what this achievement is all about and how it helps?

So i was thinking, what is meant by discipline? Discipline is behaving good, not doing things in a wrong way, and saying good words, huh? It may be that i don't seek for others compliments and i don't commit myself to impress people, i don't feel like acting as a 100% human. So i don't feel like behaving in a way people wish, i just wanna be myself; and i don't feel like doing things in the way that people think is right because i have my own judgments; and i don't feel like saying good words to people who very obviously does not deserve that.

I think the more valuable moral value is being "responsible" instead of discipline. Humans are different in nature, but discipline attempts to integrate people to behave in the same way. So i feel being responsible is more important, knowing what you do and preparing to accept any possible consequences. Learning from every experience and taking those as reference.

Here comes the question on my mind that why some people cannot accept their own flaws? I mean humans make mistakes, this is norm. So what's important is to learn from mistakes. I've been told that it may be that some humans are offended from past experience. But for me, past experience is treasure, it teaches us what we can't learn from textbook. I accept the mistakes i've made in the past, and i don't avoid it. But somehow i understand why some people avoid it, just for comfort i guess. I hope those people are not trying to hide all past mistakes and build a "window dressing" profile for themselves.

And here, i feel Chinese ed students are not good in this area. This is because (i dunno about other schools but) i've been taught to have no mistakes. I've been looked down for a poorer result in a particular sem, and i've been punished for being careless in my job. I am not saying punishments are wrong or i don't deserve punishments, i am just saying the punishments designed by my teachers are in the way that "trains" or should we say "constructs" us to be a perfect human. The punishments tell us, mistakes are not allowed to be a human with good credential. So i guess this is the reason for "window dressing" profile - we hope everything is the best for ourselves, so we don't face mistakes. Until last year, i think i still behave in this way.

But isn't learning from mistakes good?

The more people i see, the more doubtful i get. I wouldn't make any conclusion about Chinese ed and English ed, but i realize something - it all depends on human's personality and the way he/she is brought up. Family education is far most important. I hope i can provide a good one for my children. =)

And a little conclusion i've made for myself - When human gets older, she will finally develop her own justice and opinions. Then she will notice the difference between humans, and realize what she has been holding as principles are exactly how she is educated, but not what she wants.
PS: That "she" represents me. =D

Aug 14, 2012
11:22 PM