I've gone through, somehow, not so happy childhood. I used to be a very tame and quiet girl before secondary school, kind of "Calon Terbaik" that kind. I wouldn't deny that i was a bookworm, probably because of my family education since i was small, you know, my mom is a strict teacher. What i remember was i liked to sing, dance, and i was a member in school's dance team. I am kind of proud with this. :D And i used to dream that one day i might become a singer or dancer or someone else, but it's so unrealistic for me now. Haha. So i don't have any good friends in the end because of some silly kids' misunderstanding. That fellow was a tempted one, and that fellow did something which until now i didn't know, and don't want to know anymore, who was right and who was wrong. When i think of that fellow nowadays, i only feel that fellow is foolish and childish. Used to meet her during TARC diploma graduation, but i just ignored.
I always believe this was the incident that taught me to be strong. I still feel very glad that i actually chose PCGHS as my secondary school. That was a cruel and realistic school with teachers and officers who always choose how to treat a student based on her value. If you've no value, like me, noone bothers even if you cry in office, and VICE VERSA. I did that before, and i didn't feel embarrassed AT ALL, because i just felt very DISAPPOINTED to such a "FAMOUS" school like this. So i always say, I HATE PCGHS, but i am very GLAD that i actually chose to study in it, which taught me HOW TO SURVIVE in a REALISTIC AND CRUEL WORLD.
PCGHS taught me that if i want to compete and be outstanding among others, i have to put extra effort and never give up. This is the good one as studying in PCGHS is really competitive and pressure and i once couldn't eat because of sejarah. But i am thankful that i can enjoy in my college life, because i've gone through more pressure life than college life (i.e. secondary school life). People always say school life is the most precious and memorable but i DON'T THINK SO. I don't think my school life is something that i will cherish. What i've learnt was TO FACE REALITY AND NEVER GIVE UP. That's all. I have not much friends as well, but i am so glad that i met one, though not too close to her anymore, but she is the one to whom i can always pour my feelings and problems. I must thank god that she actually appears in my life. I still remember how we met in class - such a good 'jodoh' until my other classmates misunderstanding we've known each other for a long time. :D I'll find her this holiday, and work with her in KPMG. ;D
Now, i am in college. I finally feel happy because what i am pursuing is really what i want. Somehow until now, i am still very doubtful on my choice, whether i'm really interested in accounting. Answer is - NO. Actually i am not. Basically i like something do with performing, i.e. dancing and acting. I think so because i am always inspired when i watch artist's live performance. But, but, i never regret to choose accounting as my professional. Again, for me, though i like and am inspired, i still feel they are really unrealistic. So i won't want to go forward and i feel it's not worth as well. Unstable income and unsecured future. I mean, until when you can dance? Until when you can act? So i am still proud of my choice. HAHA. So accounting is really a professional paper. Thus, of course, studying in this field is very competitive. It makes me start to think what life is actually my desire life. I don't want to work until mad in the future, really don't want. So i guess i won't be an accountant, perhaps? But i, too, don't want my life to be surrounded by only my kids and husband. If i were to give birth, i want to give my kids the best education, just like what my mom did to us. It needs me to scarify my time and effort, and sometimes the result is still not what i desire. Anyway, my aim now is to finish the course.
So this is my life. I guess for most of the people, my life is REALLY BORING. I didn't go out often, didn't celebrate during festivals. My life seems to be very tensed and packed. I tell you what, you're wrong. I DO go out, but kind of selective. I only go when i want to go. And my life isn't filled with books, it's just that i can't really enjoy if i didn't finish my tasks. So i choose to concentrate first before i enjoy. And lastly, my hobby is dull for you, perhaps, but it's a healthy one for me - writing novels - what's wrong? I love imagining. It's good for brain, isn't it? =D
January 5, 2011
8.23PM
